A poem about unwanted books

(After Dorothy Parker)

There’s a handful of books on my shelves written by former friends or lovers. I don’t know what to do with them. I wrote a silly poem about it, which for some reason fell into the rhythm of Dorothy Parker’s Resumé. First, the original…

Resumé - by Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you;

Rivers are damp;

Acids stain you;

And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren’t lawful;

Nooses give;

Gas smells awful;

You might as well live.

And mine…

Rebound - by Izzy Mant

It’s exhausting to tear them;

Now the author’s your foe;

You could use them as doorstops;

But you might stub your toe.

Re-gifting’s not classy;

And thrift stores cheapen;

Burning seems Nazi;

You might as well keep ‘em.